Stop and Go and I think I might kill someone.

Dear America,

Why must you pause or go really fast? Is there not an in-between?

Love

Brian

There is a new trend happening in America, and it's called the stop and go. Some of you may think that this is a dance or maybe a hip new mini mart, but in reality, this is the new way to order food. Now I am sure that a lot of you out there want to know how to join this hot new trend, and seeing as I work in the Food and Beverage industry and my store has a drive thru, so I have mixed feelings about telling you this. But in the spirit of the season, and my rant, I will tell you.

So you must first drive up to the order box and totally ignore the person when they speak to you. There are a few ways to do this. You can use the ummmm... which is basically just saying ummmm for a really long time or over and over again. You can just not say anything (which is my personal favorite) or you can talk on your phone and not order at all. I also like this one. Once you have finished the ignoring portion of our program, you must then move on to the real meat of the matter. The start and stop.

The start and stop is very simple. You just need to order, stop and then order again. Here is an example.

RAD (really annoying driver): Ummm I wold like a Chicken Sandwich.

VPW (very polite worker): Alright that's a Chicken sandwich, anything else for you?

RAd: (thirty second pause): I would like a coke

VPW: Alright that's a Chicken sandwich and a coke, anything wlse for you?

RAD: (another thirty second pause) ummmmmmmmmm ....

now you see what the customer is doing here. They are mixing it up. They have back pedeled to the ummm portion of the program. This is amazing.

Usually there are only three pauses maybe four, but sometimes there will be 7 or eight pauses. Each time the person taking the order has to repeat the order and this gets kind of annoying. Mow you may say that it's no big deal. What does it matter when you are not going any where until your shift is over.

Well let me tell you that it is a big deal. Contrary to popular belief, the people inside the store do not have anything better to do other than serve you. Yes it is true that the reason that we are there is to help you, but we have to do other things. We have to do other things and when we have to stand there all morning listening to you just heeem and haw about what you are going to order, well it cuts into the time we spend making prep and cleaning the store etc. But there is another thing. Most stores have a service goal. They have a time limit to get customers in and out of a Drive thru. Do you know how hard it is to sit there and listen to someone try to make up their mind about what they want to order when you have a clock that is ticking over your head? When you see that they have spend two min at the box and have not even finished the order? These times effect people. They effect bonuses and pay and even if people keep their job. But by all means, don't worry. As long as your fat ass can sit in your car and be comfortable while I sweat and run harder because you are a dumb ass will keep me warm at night when I am worried about keeping my job. :)