Cars!!!!!!!

Dear America,

Learn how to drive!!!!!

Love ,

Brian

It has come to my attention that I must not have payed much attention to my instructor when I learned to drive. I know that it has been thirteen years since I took my drivers test, and I did fail the first time, (but I chalk this up to the incredibly long Purple Mazda 626 that I took my test in, and the fact that my instructors dentures were loose and making a clicking sound the whole time). So I either missed some rules or they have changed in the years since I have taken my test. Shall we take a look at these rules and see how they have changed over the years.

When I took my drivers test it was my understanding that there was a fast lane and there was a slow lane. The slow lane was for going the speed limit or slower and the fast lane was for passing. Apparently what has happened in the last few years the rules have changed. There is no fast or slow lane. Everyone just drives as fast as they want, and when you want to pass someone you have to get as close to them as you can before you change lanes. This could be looked at as a game of chicken, but in a game of chicken you are driving towards each other. Since on the normal road people drive in the same direction, you have to come up behind someone to do this, so I like to call this game butt chicken.

I was taught to always use my blinker. This lets other drivers know what direction you are going. If you want to switch lanes, or maybe make a turn you would have to turn on your blinker. The drivers in the other lane would either stop to let you turn....as they are behind you... or if they are in the lane next to you they would slowdown so that you could make your turn. Apparently now you are supposed to speed up and honk your horn. There is also a wonderful new hand gesture that people use. The driver will hold up their hand and extend their middle finger. Being the optimist that I am, I like to think that this is a driver wishing me good luck in my endeavor. I have to admit that by the looks on the drivers faces and the fact that they are shouting that they are most likely not wishing me good luck on my turn.

I also saw a driver at a red light did a most incredible thing today. When I was learning how to drive, I was told that when you came to a red light you were to stop. Usually traffic moves in one direction, which is what we use the traffic lights for. It tells people when to stop. Now today, this driver stopped at a red light and decided that he needed to turn left. As I understand it, you should go straight and at the first opportunity, you make your turn. The rule must have changed as the driver put his car in reverse and backed up until he could get into the turn lane, actually he was not in the turn lane, he was in the middle of the road.

I know that these are not the new rules of the road. So listen up America, drive correctly. The rules of the road are to be followed. They are not suggestions, they are rules. Rules that if not followed correctly can kill someone. I know that I sound weird. I sound like someone who is a nerd or a square. I do follow the speed limit, and I use my blinker, If I miss my turn, I continue to go down the road and turn around as soon as I can. I do this so that I will not kill myself or someone else......

As always,

Love Brian.

ps. I also do not ride with a baby in my lap or with the car seat in the front of my car. Just sayin.